Thursday, September 29, 2011

I won the Lottery!

Dear poor people,
Whats it like to not be as rich as me? haha I'm the king! I won the ticket lottery today, well not exactly, but the results are the same.
I ordered my OU vs Texas football tickets a few weeks ago. You have no idea where your seat will be because it is assigned randomly. However, I had heard a rumor a while back that the people who assign the seating try to put large groups in the back. I have no idea if that is true, and I wasn't even thinking about that until after I had already grouped my tickets. Last year I grouped my tickets with 4 other people, this year I grouped with 6. Well, last year we had average seats. I'm not sure exactly where they were, but they were OK at best. We sold our tickets for $500 a piece last year.
Well I found out today that our seats are... 50 yard line... 4th row! How insane is that? On StubHub, the same tickets are for sale for $1100 each!
So what I think we will do is place our tickets for sale and use the money we get for them to buy average tickets. If our tickets sell for 1000 a piece and we buy $500 tickets, we make $500 and still watch the game, only from about 20 rows higher! Its the greatest situation ever. It's understandable for everyone to be jealous.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Grading is difficult

Dear nerds,
So as the TA for Evolution, one of my responsibilities is to grade the assignments that the students turn it. I didn't realize that this could be difficult. How hard could it be? If the student doesn't put the correct answer, its wrong. If they do, its right. Well, turns out grades are not black and white, and not just because pencils write in gray.
Turns out you have to take into account what the student was meaning to say. This can be hard, mainly because sometimes what they say doesn't answer the question, but the attempt can be worth something. But at the same time, if you give credit to someone who has the right answer but got to it in a round about way, you get in trouble. I suppose the main thing is to grade in the style of your boss. If she would have given full credit and you only give half... trouble. If she would have given no credit because of how they got to the answer but you give half...trouble.
Ha, I guess what I'm saying is I'm not going to complain about nit-picky grading points anymore. Simply because grading is not nearly as easy to do as it is to complain about.

Monday, September 26, 2011

The downfall of the world as we know it.

Dear planet earth,

 I'm upset with you. Not the normal, "It so hot outside, you suck earth." kind of upset, its even worse. Wait, I'm not mad at you earth, just disappointed. How dare you? This shenanigans has gone on long enough, and i intend to end this craze right now.

Pillow Pets are neither a pillow nor a pet! These dumb fluffy things serve no function and are the downfall of the world as we know it. Lets examine this menace to society part at a time.

First part- Pillow.
When I call something a pillow, i expect a few things in return. first, I expect that it be think enough to actually lift my head off of the bed. Second, it is not a pillow if there is no pillow case. That's just disgusting. Everyone slobbers at least a little bit when they're asleep. Show me someone who says they don't, and I'll show you someone who is full of bologna. And if you can't wash the pillow case, the next night you just sleep in your own slobber. This is unsanitary and I want no part of it.

Second part- Pet.
My pet wiener dog Frank is a pet. My goldfish Dwayne is a pet. I know we set the bar pretty low with the pet rocks in the 80's, but at least a pet rock can defend your home if someone ever broke in. If you threw your pet rock at an intruder, he might leave. Throw your pillow pet at an intruder and he will probably tickle you to death before he steals your TV. Pillow pets cannot fetch, swim, lick your feet, or even pee on the carpet. Well, at least my moose pillow pet hasn't done any of those things yet. But Moosie is different, she's adorable.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Blogging is hard

Good afternoon,
I must not live a very exciting life, because I have run out of topics to blog about. I'll just have to describe my weekend in detail.
Kristine's mom and step-dad came into town this weekend. It was pretty nice to see those guys. They took us out to eat three times in the two days they were here. I like going out to eat, but after 3 huge meals, I'm pretty excited to eat cereal for dinner tonight.
Her step-dad is a super republican, so I always find it entertaining to make little remarks that he doesn't agree with. The best part is he used to always try to talk about these things (to teach me the error of my ways) but he didn't at all this weekend. For example, after the football game yesterday, we were walking back to their car and saw the new Islamic Center. He's one of those super conservatives that thinks if you're not a white, middle class christian, you are a bad person. So I commented on how nice the new center is looking and how excited I am to go inside when the construction is finished. Ha, the look of disgust in his eyes at this comment make me snicker just a little bit.
In other news, the game was ugly. I hear that we are going to drop in the polls. I don't care if we're number two, I just don't want Boise State to even think that they are comparable to us. I just dislike Boise. Play a good team once in a while if you want my respect. Chumps.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Debate

Hi there,
(so I think I've just about run out of ways to say hello.)
I just finished a debate in my Capstone class. It was over a bill that is going before congress soon about the use of antibiotics as growth enhancer in meat animals. My group was on the side in favor of the legislation. The other side was supposed to use scientific reasoning to show that Congress should not pass this law. Well, clearly because there is so much information out there concerning the evolution of bacteria in response to antibiotic resistance, it was clear that the Pro side was in the best shape.
The Con side attempted to counter our arguments about animal rights and the clear evolutionary problems associated with the practice by pointing out how the specific wording of the bill was the main, if not only reason why the bill should fail. This made me realize this is probably the only way a group fighting against science can make a point. I don't know for sure, but I imagine that this type of argument is one of the main types used to fight off environmental regulation in our government. How sad.
If there is a clear evolutionary problem, supported by clear evolutionarily evidence, that can be solved quickly through some easily enforceable laws, why not go for it? The same is true about climate change. I hate that we see the problem, but we cannot solve it because of misinformation and silly, insignificant problems with regulatory practices.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The history of my Fish

howdy y'all
In attempt to better inform the masses about legend that is my life, I suppose I should tell the world about my history with fish. I've always been a fan of fish tanks and the like, so I have owned a few in my day. I've learned a few important things about fish tanks in that time, and these are lessons I feel my fans should learn.
Lesson 1- Keep your tank clean.
    I had a beta when I was in junior high. His name was Steven and he was a pretty good fish. He lived in a pretty small bowl with no filter, so his tank got dirty nearly every week. My mother is a very cleanly lady, so this dirty tank did not make her as happy as it did me. One day she told me that I needed to clean it by the end of the day or she was going to give the fish to the neighbors. Thinking she was bluffing, I called shenanigans and didn't clean the bowl. Well, turns out it was no bluff. Steven went to live with a new family.
Lesson 2- Fish tanks are not water dynamite proof.
   I was a junior in high school when I set up a 10 gallon tank in my room (my room that had just been re-carpeted) Well it was just after July 4th, so my friends and I had a few extra water dynamite. My friends Jose and Justin were at my house playing x-box when we decided that we should use the rest of the water dynamite. Jose told me that he had a tank at home and dropped water dynamite into it all the time and it looked really cool, but didnt hurt the fish at all. In a moment of complete stupidity, I believed this and decided my tank would be a perfect place to try it out. Well, as it turns out, this was simply not true. The tank burst and spilled the smelly water all over the floor. All the fish were killed and my room was a mess. I was in so much trouble. I haven't trusted Jose since.
Lesson 3- PetsMart is full of crap.
   I once bought my girlfriend a goldfish fish from Walmart. His name was Buzz and he was awesome. He lived in a one gallon bowl for nearly two years. When he moved to the Big Ocean in the Sky, we decided that we would honor his memory with a funeral. It was a suit and tie affair with pamphlets and nearly 20 mourners in attendance.
   Well a few weeks later we bought a 10 gallon tank with all the bells and whistles. We, under direction of the experts at PetsMart, only put one large goldfish in the tank. Her name was Calypso. She only lasted about a week. Because this was such an untimely death, we returned the fish's corpse to PetsMart and demanded a refund. They gave us 5 mollies. Kristine refused to name them because she said she couldn't handle becoming attached to them if they were just going to leave her.  Even with all the chemicals and antibiotics PetsMart sold us to help them survive, they all died within two weeks.
   Well, after about a year, Kristine decided to try her luck with fish again. This time, we each bought a single goldfish from Walmart. Hers, a orange and white goldfish with brown spots, is named Ginger. Mine, being solid black and looking angry, is named Dwayne (after professional wrestler and actor Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson.) Dwayne and Ginger have been alive for nearly 2 months now. So clearly, PetsMart is full of evil people who want you to fall in love with an aquatic friend only to mourn their passing within a week. I'll never buy a fish from PetsMart again.

Monday, September 19, 2011

World Music

Why hello there neighbor,
I'm taking a class called World Music. It is one of the classes offered to undergraduate students to fill the "non-western civics" requirement of Zoology students. In all honesty, it is known as the easiest class at our beloved university, so it was an easy choice for me.
The class talks about the different styles and textures of music from around the world. It has been relatively interesting so far, but not compared to any science course I have ever taken. We were just tested over Native American music. Even though I speak a little bit of Cherokee, I didn't realize the music worked. Did you know that a large portion (at least of the music I was exposed to for this class) is untranslatable? It is just a string of nifty sounds thrown together.
The best part of the class is the instructor, Dr. Goza. He is a formal orchestral conductor, but I would say he prides himself mainly on his interpretations of the world. He sees the world in a way 180 degrees different from the way the average Joe sees the world. He has a daily rant about the strangest things. Some of these rants include:
We shouldn't have programs to help veterans re-assimilate to society, but instead sing them songs to fight off the evil spirts. 
Humanity evolved its ability to create society from the use of hallucinogenic mushrooms.
If the economy is going down the drain, we should cut science funding and replace it with more art and music funding. That way we spark creativity, which is what will lead us to a new financial plan.

Even though I think he might be crazy, I like that he believes in himself and is confident in who he is as a person. Well done sir.

Grad school

Hey there nerds,
I, after several weeks of nervous procrastination, sent out an email to a professor from the University of Kansas about a master's program. I wrote an email to this guy around a month ago, but wanted to wait a while to send it out. I was hoping to get advice from some of the grad students I know here about how to word it and what to say. I had pretty much everyone I know that was willing to read this thing email proof read it.
I used the CV I created for this class, but I'm not very confident in it. Not that the CV was bad or that my experience isn't good, just that I got such a low score on the CV when I turned it in, but didn't know what I needed to change to improve it. I had a friend go over it with me and she had a few pieces of advice, but I still feel that the grader must have seen something else wrong with it that went unseen to us. I'm worried that the Kansas professor will find it too.
Gosh, I tell myself that I'm such a big and tough guy, and I usually believe it. But I've been so nervous all weekend I feel like a 8th grader at the dance. I'll be sure to post if I hear anything back from Kansas.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

How about those Sooners!

BOOMER!
Wow! What a game! The OU-FSU game was probably the most exciting OU football game that I have ever watched. The opening drive looked so good. We just pounded the ball, and if I'm not mistaken, Landry was 5/5 passing. At that point, I thought it was going to be a blowout.
But the rest of the first three quarters were much more stressful. The interception thrown into double man coverage was just ugly, and the backup quarterback for FSU had a cannon for an arm. When they scored on the 3rd and ~30, I really started to worry. But my boy pulled it together! Landry just commanded the offense after the start of the 4th quarter.
Funny story, right when FSU scored their touchdown, my girlfriend left the room to take a phone call. While she was gone, OU had that great drive down the field and scored. After that, when Kristine came out of the bedroom to rejoin our watch party, we said that she was bad luck and said she had to finish watching the game from my room. Of course we were kidding, but if she wouldn't have told us to get lost, I probably wouldn't have told her to come back to the living room.  I really like winning.
Side note, I was glad to see the FSU player who was carted off of the field was OK. When he was knocked out and his hands were stuck in that strange position, I thought he might be seriously hurt. I'm all for hard-hitting football, but I don't want to see anyone actually hurt that badly.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

9-13-11

He there fiction fans,
The following story is absolutly not true. I'm making it up as I go.
So just the other day, I was with some friends at the mall. I hate going shopping, but I needed jeans so I forced my friends to tag along and keep me company. You will never guess who I saw there, Justin Beeber. He I introduced myself and invited him to go to Orange Julies with us. While drinking delicious smoothies, the Beebs started talking about dancing. I took this as a personal challenge. The two of us climbed on the tables in the food court and had a good old fashion dance battle. He was good, but I was better. The whole mall was cheering and dancing along, win suddenly Justin fell off of the table and busted his head open. Almost instinctively, I sprang into action. I used a needle and thread to sew his head up and some native american herbs I had gathered to wake him from his coma. He was lucky I was there of he might have died. He was so grateful that he asked me to star in his next music video. Of course I said no, mainly because that would be lame.

Monday, September 12, 2011

9-12-11

Hello America,
I'm about to make a statement that, if taken WAY out of context, could be considered offensive. I surly have no intention of it being interpreted that way, but you never know. 

It's darn good to be an American on September, 11. We all know how horrible and tragic that day 10 years ago was, but our response to the day reminds me why I'm proud to be an American. On the ten year anniversary of the day, we weren't scared. Our spirits weren't crushed. We didn't cry for the loss of the American way of life. 

We responded to the anniversary by reminding ourselves of how we felt that day and showing that we can move on without forgetting. The World Trade Center Memorial looked incredible and to see the new tower going up just made me proud. They can hurt us, but they can never stop us. Go America!

Hey there football fans

Hey there football fans,

What a great opening Sunday of football! I'm not a huge fan of the turn out of most of the games, but it was still just so nice to be watching the NFL again. The Cowboys lost to the Jets, in true Romo choke fashion. This was probably the highlight of the week for me. Not that I dislike the Cowboys, or love the Jets, it was just a great way to get vengeance against my room mates.

You see, I am a Steeler fan, and they played their rivals, the Ravens. The Steelers had 7 turnovers, leading to a Ravens spanking. I was not very happy about this. To make it worse, my room mates hammered me with smack talk for the entire game. My only reply was, "Yeah, but the Cowboys are worse and your QB stinks worse than Pigpen. He will choke harder than Bush on Pretzels. America's Team my butt, you're a terrorist if you don't cheer for New York on the 10 year anniversary of 9-11." (I cleaned up the language a bit)

Thankfully, Romo came through for me and blew the game, or at least his team did and I get to blame it on Romo simply because he exists. Unfortunately, it looks like I will lose in Fantasy Football this week, I need Brandon Marshall to score less than 8 points on Monday, which doesn't seem likely to happen. Shucks.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

What I saw on TV

Happy weekend team,
I was just watching this documentary on ESPN that nearly made me cry. It was the story of a boxer named Paco. He was a fairly accomplished boxer in the Chicago area, having a record of 14 and 2. His wife, who had recently given birth, was encouraging him to give up boxing because of the health risks. He refused because he finally had a shot at a title match. When the match came around, he was beaten badly. So badly that he fell into a coma and died the next day.
His wife then decided to donate his organs. Five different people received Paco's organs. A few months after their surgeries were completed, Paco's wife wrote to each of the people to arrange a meeting. On the one year anniversary of his death, all the recipients and Paco's wife meet in Chicago. It was a strange sight; sad for Paco, but joyous because his death saved 5 strangers lives.
I hope when I die they can help people with my organs. It almost seems like a way to cheat death, trading one life for five others. Its a kind of victory through defeat. Good for Paco

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

9-6-11

Howdy Y'all,
Well, the long weekend is over. It was fun while it lasted, but if it lasted much longer I would probably not enjoy it as much. Labor Day is a nifty holiday. I understand it is to support and honor the work force and the unions who fought for the workers' rights, but its still so abstract to me. Maybe that's because I have never been a real member of the work force, or maybe its because in my mind Labor Day is synonymous not wearing white pants. Either way, I wish the holiday was more important to me, but its not. Does that make me a bad liberal? Maybe, but at least I'm not phony.
The evolution class took their first quiz today. Only one of the questions I wrote made it on to the quiz, but it was still a proud moment for me. Only 59 percent of the class answered it correctly. I'm not sure if that makes me proud for creating a hard question, or feel guilty because I made the question too hard. I'll probably make the next batch of questions slightly easier to see what my emotional response is to a higher correct response rate. After that I'll know for sure what kind of questions make me feel the best, and will make all of them like that in the future. (if any professors of mine are reading this... I'm SURE it will be the very easy questions. Lets aim for that on my next tests.)

Monday, September 5, 2011

9-5-11

Good afternoon,
Today has just been one of those days. Not like "those" days referring to a bad day, if fact just the opposite. I mean today has been one of THOSE days, where while nothing is really going right, everything just seems to be funnier than normal. Today started out like any other Monday, with a lab meeting. We were a bit confused as to be having a lab meeting on Labor Day, but I'm not the boss so my opinions are irrelevant on this kind of thing. Well, as it turns out, we didn't have a lab meeting. Woke up and went to school at 9, but no meeting. Communication breakdown, but the silver lining was that I went to the union and had a delicious Phili Cheese Steak for breakfast. Roy Halladay's breakfast of champions.
Then I was off to play some Frisbee golf. I played probably the greatest round of Frolf of my young life, but that wasn't the good part. The THOSE day events came from a 10 year old kid who joined our group. He was wearing a Kool-aid shirt, so naturally, his nickname became "OHHH YEAH!" Well OHHH told our group that it was weird for my room mate and I to be playing together. "What makes you say that DJ Yeah?" he responds, "Well, you (pointing at me) are like, what... 30? and you (my elder room mate) are like 17. How'd yall become room mates?" I laughed so hard I could have died on the spot happy. By the time I was finished laughing, Captain Tropical Punch had left without anyone seeing where he went. We decided that he must be a ghost who haunts the Frisbee Golf field and only materializes to make my life full of immature laughter.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

9-4-11

Howdy,
So how awesome was the football game? I invited a few friends over to my girlfriend's house to tailgate before hand. We had steak, bratwurst and all that kind of stuff on the grill. I always get a kick out of grilling. Mainly because it is one of the only styles of cooking that I'm no novice to. Also, standing behind a grill makes me feel like a big boy.
We all walked to the game about an hour before kickoff. The lead up to the game is almost as much fun as the game itself. Watching all the freshmen is the best part. Freshmen are so excited, and usually pretty drunk, so I just get a kick out of them. I like to think that I wasn't that lame at that age, but I'm sure I was equally, if not more, ridiculous.
The game was great. I was so excited for the season to start that i was described as "an 8 year old on Christmas eve," which was a reasonable description. I hope the excitement stays all season, which means I really hope we keep winning. Florida State in just 2 weeks. Can't wait!!

Friday, September 2, 2011

9-2-11

Greetings Nerds,

So I'm currently in Springfield, Missouri. My girlfriend, Kristine, is from Springfield, so we came up to see her parents. Her dad turned 65 yesterday. And if that wasn't enough to constitute a trip, today was his last day of work. He is retiring from the city water treatment plant after 14 years.

The retirement party was this afternoon at the water treatment plant. Surprisingly, the place didn't smell bad at all. The plant (under his leadership) is now the most progressive and greenest treatment plant in all of Missouri. It was honored in 2010 for being the best treatment plant in the state, making Kristine's dad a pretty popular man in the Missouri engineering world.

Before the tour kicked off, one of the workers gave me a tour. Turns out water treatment is much more sophisticated than one would assume. Ozone generators, Nitrogen conversion tanks, and gravitational belt settlers (or something that sounded something like that) to name a few of the nifty machines. More on the tour tomorrow. See you at the game!