Dear mortals,
So I must have made some kind of clear mistake by not posting this much earlier in the year. How can I expect you people to know who I really am if I've never told you this story? That's my bad and I apologize for not letting you guys know that you have class with a ninja.
Well, two summers ago, when I was at the University of Michigan Biological Station, there was a guy there who was a real life ninja. His name is Lance and he is (or at least was) the president of the Ball State Martial Arts Society. He is a pretty small guy, I probably have 50 pounds and 6 inches on the dude, but none-the-less, he is a legitimate ninja. So one night, a few of the other guys wanted to go down to the sandy part of the beach and wrestle. We all tagged along and got a kick out of how bad both of the dudes were at wrestling. When they were done, Lance challenged me. Well, I have no experience at wrestling and the guy is a ninja so I was a little worried. But I'm so much bigger than Lance that I figured I could take him. So right when we started, I just rushed him with a good old fashion football tackle. Being that he was so small, I laid him out and quickly flipped him around and had him in a head lock from behind in just a few seconds. Therefore, I beat a ninja a fighting! I'm pretty sure that if you beat a ninja, you take their ninja statues, right? That means I'm a ninja and awesome. Nobody has to worry about deadly ninja attacks while you're in class anymore because you have an ace ninja in the room to prevent it from happening in the first place. Doesn't that make all of you feel more safe? You're welcome.
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